Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Really short college fic tag.
Rating: It'll be over before you can blink..nothing to be offended over.
AN: I didn't partake in collegeficchat, so I have no idea how he found out or how this was actually resolved.
He couldn't bear to go see her.
He didn't want to see her. Lying on the bed with its sterile white linens, sleeping with false innocence. He couldn't bear to see her that helpless--that vulnerable, that hurt.
He couldn't bear to see that and know in some way that it was his fault.
James kept urging him to go see her. Actually, more like threatened. He was a good friend, though, and his heart was in the right place, but he couldn't really understand what Brett was going through. This was one of those "throw out the books" kind of deal.
He doubted James had a psychology book on the mental and emotional problems one faces when one's father rapes one's fiance.
There was the initial disgust and anger. He had recognized, and in retrospect, expected those emotions. Outrage--the blood pounding through his head and making him dizzy--had been the most prominent emotion for a while.
But he hadn't been expecting the depression.
Holding her close while she sobbed, he had felt awful. He had no idea what it would be like to be violated like that.
But this--this was worse.
Because eventually she calmed and ran out of tears. But she was still raped, and she would have to deal with that for the rest of her life. And that thought killed him. Because it wasn't fair and it wasn't right and she didn't deserve any of it.
Yet she still had to suffer through it all.
And that depressed the hell out of him. Because he couldn't fix it. He couldn't fix her. He didn't know how to help her.
James kept telling him that he couldn't. That all he could do was be there for her and support her.
But it didn't seem like it was enough.
His father had raped the woman that he loved and--and he couldn't even hate the guy. Every time he thought about he got a sickening feeling in his stomach and just wanted to cry.
He wondered if Ryn felt like that.
He wanted to cry and curl up in a ball and just escape from reality. He wanted to go back in time before it all happened. Before when he knew her smiles were real and not forced. Before when the worst thing in the world was Chloe spreading lies about him.
But he couldn't go back. So he was stuck with a cold empty feeling; the apathy sinking in.
He stared at the white walls and waited for James to come back. He promised himself he would work up the nerve to see her tomorrow.