Title: Philosophy 101; 2/6
Category: Other/Multi POV
Summary: One by one, everyone in Roswell answers the question: If a tree falls in a forest, but nobody is around to hear it, does the tree make a sound?
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If a tree falls in a forest, but nobody is around to hear it, does the tree make a sound?
Max loves me. And I love Max. Max loves me. And I love Max.
I used to repeat that over and over to myself at night before I went to bed.
It wasnít reassurance that he loved me or anything like that. I used to repeat that at night to tell myself that everything...all the messes we created...all the lies we told...that they were all worth it.
In the beginning it was an embarrassing anomaly. Max Evans loves me. Then it became a furtive whispering. My little secret: Max Evans loves me. Followed soon by disbelief: Max Evans loves me? Then a joyous yell: Max Evans loves ME!
It was something you confided in only to your diary and your best friend over chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.
But Liz Parker doesnít own a diary. And she doesnít eat chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.
Liz Parker owns a journal. A journal without scientific findings or logical explanations. Itís really a diary she pretends to call journal. And Liz Parker eats vanilla ice cream. But she covets chocolate chip and rocky road.
Perhaps Iím the embarrassing anomaly.
I added the, ďAnd I love MaxĒ when Tess arrived and their mother revealed to the other aliens their destiny. After all, if I love Max, Iím the noble one. Iím the one on high moral ground. After all, I gave up the love of my life so that he could do whatís right. So I was allowed to be the beautiful heroine riding off into the sunset.
And I did. I rode straight off to Florida where I enjoyed several weeks in the sun with a boy named Brett.
But every night, I said, ďMax loves me. And I love Max.Ē So all was right in the world. Because finding solace in another boyís arm is quite all right if you gave up your one true love so he could do whatís right.
And when I returned to Roswell, Max still loved me. And he didnít need to know about Brett, because Brett isnít important. Max loved me. And I loved Max. So all was right in the world.
Time seemed to fly during the next school year. Blue goo...trips to Las Vegas...all seemed trivial between each nightís saying of ďMax loves me. And I love Max.Ē
Until Alex died.
Then time didnít fly and nothing seemed trivial. Everything was important. Blue goo, trips to Las Vegas...it all added up. Each was a piece of the puzzle in the big Alex mystery. There was no time to grieve-there was a mystery to be solved!
I thought Max understood that. Thatís why I planned on becoming a scientist. Thatís why I took biology two years in a row! Why settle for an A-, when an A+ looks so much better on transcripts? Itís the logical thing to do. Just like the logical thing to do was to figure out the mystery behind Alexís death.
But Max, he just didnít understand. He wanted me to grieve, to talk about Alex, how I was feeling. But crying wonít help! Crying wouldnít bring Alex back or help me solve the mystery! Max just wasnít being logical.
I told him so.
So he slept with Tess. And he stopped loving me. But I still loved him. So all was not right in the world.
Then I solved the mystery. Iím a regular Nancy Drew. Even better, I might add. After all, I did it all on my own. Without the help of my boyfriend Ned or by best friends George and Bess. But, I did it in true Nancy Drew style-with logic.
So I told Max. And Tess went away. And he loves me now. He told me so near the cave where he was hatched. He holds me close and he tells me that loving me was the only right thing he ever did. So I do the logical thing. I smile and I tell him I love him back.
And I bite my tongue every night just in case. Because he still betrayed me, so all is not right in the world.
What did you ask? Oh yes, of course the tree would make a sound. Thatís the logical answer, of course.