Philosophy 101
Title: Philosophy 101; 4/6
By: Tammy
Category: Other/Multi POV
Summary: One by one, everyone in Roswell answers the question: If a tree falls in a forest, but nobody is around to hear it, does the tree make a sound?
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Part IVIf a tree falls in a forest, but nobody is around to hear it, does the tree make a sound?
The Twirler:
Maria
Yes, that’s me. I’m a twirler. Not following me? Remember when you were a kid-way back in elementary school when you would play during recess. Sometimes you would play hopscotch, handball, four square, or you’d play tag on the field. Not me. I twirled. I’d run out into the middle of the field and spin round and round until I’d fall down.
The entire world would spin and you’d get this feeling in your stomach that you didn’t know if it was good or bad, but you didn’t want to stop. Your head would pound and your eyes would feel like they were crossing. You’d giggle and fall and after a few breathless moments you’d get right back up and spin again.
And everything was wonderful. Everything was simple. Simplicity is wonderful.
Complexity is a bitch.
I don’t understand all those books and movies, etcetera, etcetera, that just bemoan over life. ‘Tragedy this. Tragedy that. No more happy endings. From the moment you’re born, you begin to die.’
What the freak is that all about?
To all those authors, to all those screenwriters, I have one thing to tell you. Get the freak over yourself.
Life is wonderful. Life is great. Life is simple. You twirl. You fall. You get back up.
I can sit here and tell you how much my life sucks. I can tell you about how my mom became pregnant with me when she was just a teenager. That my dad left us and my dog died. I can tell you how my whole world turned upside down when I found out there were aliens here on earth. How my heart was broken and mended thousands of times thanks to a certain alien who will never grasp the concept of a comb or hair cut. And how my heart was broken and will never be repaired when my best friend died.
But guess what.
My life doesn’t suck. I have the most wonderful life and I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone else’s. I love my life. I love being me.
Now that doesn’t mean, I didn’t cry when Alex died. Because trust me, I cried for weeks. We’re talking Noah’s arc crying. And that doesn’t mean I always think my life doesn’t suck or I don’t get angry, upset, or any other number of emotions, when something happens in my life.
But right now, for this one moment, here in this Jetta, I love my life.
Thanks to my father and my mother’s mistake, I’m here. If my dad had never left, my mom would never have taught me to be as strong or as smart as I am today. If my best friend had never been shot, or a certain dark-haired alien never had a crush on her, I would never have met the love of my life. And as for Alex...
Grief’s a complex thing. Thus, following the cause and effect trend we got going here, it’s also a bitch. I’m happy. I’m sad. I’m angry. I’m crying. I’m screaming. I’m one big mood swing.
There are days when my whole body hurts. Just the day to day pain of knowing that tomorrow Alex isn’t going to be there. But then there are moments. I won’t say days, because I know I’m not there yet, but there are moments. Like when I’m in the shower. I’ll remember a joke or a dance. And then I’ll feel this unbelievable happiness come over me. Because I know that I’m luckier than anyone else in the world. I knew Alex. I spent minutes, hours, days, and years with a person that some will never know. And I’m a better person because of him.
Yes, cliche, I know. But would you rather have me spout off some chicken soup for the soul, footsteps on my heart nonsense? People don’t leave footsteps on your heart. If they did, my heart would be covered in tread marks, damaged beyond repair. I’d rather think of a heart as something that can be built upon. Each person you meet, adding a little something to it. Alex being gone doesn’t mean that a part of my heart is gone. My life’s a little less rich, but my heart’s still the same because I’ll never forget him.
I spun too much and my world flew upside down. But it’s slowly coming back. It’s a lot easier when you know someone’s there to hold your hand and help you back up.
My tree did fall. But contrary to popular belief, someone did hear it. And he chose me.